Moments of Inspired Parenting

When I was a kid, maybe around six or seven, my mom took me to see the film The Emigrants.

(possibly it was the sequel The New Land. I realize from reading about both films on Wikipedia that unless I re-watch the Emigrants, and I plan to, I can't actually be sure which one I saw as a child. Maybe I saw both.)

The Emigrants is a grim Swedish film about rural hardship with no hope of improvement and a few families who try for something better in Minnesota. It was definitely not meant as a kid's film.
But I drank it in as I did the other two fairly inappropriate films my mom took me to see as a kid in the early/mid 70s: Dog Day Afternoon* and Oh Lucky Man**.

I mention this childhood cinematic memory because of a tense moment in the film that caused me to react with fear and my mom to respond with three perfect words. It was a moment that stood out from the general atmosphere of tolerance and open mindedness that I was brought up in. It was more than just part of the cumulative effect of growing up in that environment.

In the scene, one of the female characters is pregnant and alone in her cabin out in the wilds of the expanding US. (At least that's how I remember it). 
Suddenly there appears in the doorway a fierce looking American Indian (sorry I have no idea from which tribe). The entire focus narrows down to that moment of uncertainty, their eyes on each other, her vulnerability and his wariness.
"He's scary", I whispered into the hush of the packed cinema. My mom leaned down and whispered back. 
"No, he's not."
Only three words and only a few seconds out of my entire childhood. But these words, I realize now, had a profound effect on me. With that tiny sentence she opened up a whole world of free thinking. She kicked through a hole in the wall of  propaganda that promotes all sorts of nasty agendas. She could just as easily have said, DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE. 
The think for yourself seed was planted and sprouted immediately. As a  teenager I began to realize that indoctrination had been a huge part of my education and that chunks of  history had been avoided or delivered from a winner's perspective. 

In reality a scenario like that in the film could have been dangerous for that woman, and I have no remembrance of what happened after that scene (I really do need to re-watch this film). Maybe he did attack her. Though I think I would have remembered that. 
Either way it doesn't matter. My mom was not speaking from naivety, she was not telling me to be blindly trusting. She was speaking of a reality that said don't expect people to act a certain way because that's what you have been taught. Be very cautious about these narratives, they are based on prejudice, fear and arrogance. 
And I thank her for that. 



*Dog day Afternoon gave me an early and enduring appreciation of Al Pacino's  charisma. 

**I believe this is a very underrated film. (Again, I need to re-watch it). The fantastic music (we owned the record) is by the keyboardist of the Animals Alan Price, in fact I think the entire band drives up in a van in some scene and gives the main character a lift. And it stars another very charismatic lad of the day Malcolm McDowell. 
In defense of my mom's decision to bring us to these films, she was short on babysitters (we had a seriously absent dad). My brother was clever and likely convinced her that we should go see these films because he wanted to. Whatever the reason, I'm glad she took me. In fairness, we also went to great kid's films such as Oliver, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and the incredible musical Jesus Christ Superstar, (OK that last one isn't really a kid's film.) Great film though that teaches you everything you need to know about the New Testament. Sorted! And it's all sung to you. 

Trailer for The Emigrants

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QfS0FlLQmE

God it's hard to believe that this is the official trailer of the day. They certainly weren't as attention grabbing as they are these days. The Emigrants, though not fast-paced, is pretty amazing and not as tedious as those snippets would have you believe: like you'd be reacting to the film as the church crowd does to his sermon.


Couldn't resist putting this in. Love Al Pacino!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne6KMHLTvik&t=4s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRz_3pok1Og
Oh Lucky Man (who knew  Helen Mirren  was in it as well)

There is another inspired parenting moment that stands out. This wasn't a breach in the wall moment but more a brick taken away, or one less built up.  I believe, the main role of parents is to provide space for the child’s own natural goodness to expand while instilling positive behavior through example and discussion. 

Parents are facilitators.

Unfortunately, because parents are trapped by their own emotional and societal walls this role is not an easy one to maintain. 

A poster of Monet’s Regatta at Argenteuil  hung in the living room of my childhood home. I adored it, the soft colors, the depth of the basin, its pure blue water and matching sky. I wanted to climb into that painting and breathe the fresh, easy breeze, jump into that refreshing water. 

This wanting to be part of it inspired me to climb up on the table and draw a small ink boat in front of the other boats sailing so serenely. My artistic ability was simplistic, it was a boat fit for a stick figure and I placed one at the helm.

Instead of anger and scolding, my mom expressed delight. She celebrated my artistic initiative and her smile said she enjoyed my innocent irreverence.  Her generous response showed strength and lightheartedness, humor and creativity.

A good life lesson to pass on to your children.

To see painting, click on link.

https://terraingallery.org/aesthetic-realism/art-criticism/claude-monet-does-art-answer-the-questions-of-our-lives/

A question for the carnivores

I am not an advocate for hunting. I'm vegan and would love that everyone goes vegan. I know in some parts of the world this is not practicable, but in many parts it is. This post is to point out the absurdity of how so many people view meat eating: It is their indisputable right to eat meat, especially, without taking a part in the process. 

For the meat eaters that can't face the thought of killing an animal, why do you think someone else should do it for you? (And do keep in mind, factory farming is also a serious human rights issue. The conditions are horrific for workers as well as non-human animals).

It seems these days we have evolved into a species that isn't very receptive to Nature's Commandments. 

And even though they roar through the wind, rushing with an ache into our ears we turn up our collars, pull down our caps and snuggle up safe with our protective, pathetic logic.

If you can't stomach (pun intended) the reality of killing, skinning chopping, guts, blood and stench, then you don't deserve the privilege of filling your stomach with flesh.

Giving birth isn't a simple undertaking, and killing also requires its payment.
And that is not made in the form of a fast food or sterile supermarket solution. A solution that perpetuates gluttony and cowardliness. All too easily, many eat fleshy meals three times a day topped up by fast food meaty munchies after a night out.
Yet often these same people would grimace or cry at the thought of killing an animal. They would even consider you cruel if you told them you killed your own meat.
Many people will react with shock and horror at the notion of killing an animal that you own and interact with. 
"Oh, I couldn't do that," they say. 
Which translates as, "I'd rather eat meat out of a plastic package from a factory farmed animal who has suffered, but that's OK because out of sight, out of mind, I can emotionally deal with that, but God how can you kill that animal, you must be very calloused."  

And this comment: The wild is a rough and tough place where animals die brutal deaths. 
Sorry, this is no excuse for incarcerating animals in dismal factories, torturing them and then sending them to their death. And it's not even a nice try for an excuse. It's just arrogant bullshit.

Yes, animals in the wild sometimes suffer, but it isn't guaranteed. They have a chance to escape a predator and often do. We all have seen wildlife footage of lions outrun by gazelles. And even if death by sharp and tearing teeth were unavoidable, who are we to take animals out of their natural habitat and subject them to suffering.

Now I hear you say. But what about happy farms as opposed to the brutality of factory farming? On a farm we humans protect them from the big, bad wild. Are they not better off with us? 
Again this arrogance.
Yeah, we protect them until, without fail, they are shipped to a slaughterhouse sensing and smelling their demise. Is there really such a thing as a "humane" slaughter? NO!
Removed from their natural habitat farm animals lose their natural ways. Reliant on us their sole reason for existence is to be a food source.

But being hunted is not an easy death I have been told.
In their rightful habitat with their senses vibrant and intact animals have a chance to escape. And a human had to work for his or her meat, take a risk, take on the killing karma if you like. Humans do love to pass on that duty of death to others.
Death transformed as sustenance requires the risk of a hunt. Your prey might evade you, in fact it might injure or kill you. As said, giving birth is a risky, painful business, taking a life to sustain your own should be as well. Dues must be paid, is my answer.

Think about it. Taking a life for your own life. How can that be made simple. 
If I were a non-human animal, I'd rather be free living with my tribe and taking my chances then trapped in a hellish factory with an inescapable fate to be on the plate. 

People think I am naïve for not understanding that the world, the wild, is a cruel place. I have had this implied to me with patronizing smiles. But I think eating meat yet refusing to either take part in the production or worse disconnecting to the cruelty of farming is naïve and frankly insane. 
What are we teaching our kids? Some bizarre mixed message of be thoughtful, be nice. Play with stuffed animals, watch Peppa Pig, own a fish, dog, rabbit, hamster, treat them well, but here have a plate of chicken nuggets. As a human it is your right.   

How does one put value on life? Intelligence? As far as I understand pigs are more intelligent than dogs. I don't think anyone in the US, Europe, Australia or New Zealand eats dogs or would get away with it if they wanted to.

Before going vegan, (yet only rarely eating meat and not much dairy or eggs), I had avid meat eaters look at me as if I was cruel because I promoted killing your own animal. 
I have carved up a pig on my kitchen table. I have gutted a load of chickens while I was pregnant and I have accidentally cracked open an egg carrying a partially developed chick. I get the reality of animal products. Why don't you face it as well?

I do know lovely people who agree with me.

 In theory. 
Nodding and expressing amazement at how awful it all is, the next minute they go to the fridge, grab a plastic package and start slicing chicken breast. 
Humans are so adept at swimming in da nile.

When each of my sons turned 13, supervised by their dad, they had to kill, then pluck and gut their own chickens.
An initiation for boys. A reality check for meat eaters. Admittedly a feeble gesture in both those directions, but it was something. It won't suffice them a lifetime, but they have experienced the truth of where their food comes from more acutely than probably a lot of other kids.

While ideally, they should all three become vegans (I'm working on it), at the very least, they own their carnism. 

Having said all that, at this stage of human existence hunting isn't necessary or practical. It isn't possible for everyone to live that way. And why should we? Our hunter/gatherer days are long gone.

For those westernized meat eaters who think that hunting will forever justify the killing, a new way of being is emerging. The way of compassion for all living things, including the earth. But that's a topic for another post.

"Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals."

The Vegan Society

https://www.vegansociety.com/go-vegan/definition-veganism